dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
