I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
