You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
