just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
