Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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