Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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