Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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