i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
