with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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