she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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