So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
