My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
