Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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