I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
