If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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