How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
The ass gains better be worth it
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