im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize