you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize