I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
