i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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