i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
