how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
