and you said cock pushups were impossible
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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