I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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