So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize