This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
we should paint friendship bongs
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
