i just had sex bonerless
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
