You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I pour the whiskey from now on
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize