I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
