Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
