i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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