After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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