I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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