i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize