That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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