Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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