As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I am naked and annoyed.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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