The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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