Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
