8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She's not a foreskin expert like you
3 2 1 whiskey
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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