hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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