I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Watching her eat just hurts me
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
