sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
