You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
