We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
