Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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