I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
