Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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