I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
