btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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