I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
