im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
