Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize