Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Come see our sink grown plant.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
