"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize