Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize