Duck Duck Cougar?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I forget how to act sober
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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