there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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