the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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