I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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