I hope mine doesn't look like that
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I need a burrito and a hug.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
