he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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