dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
