it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
