so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
